The subreddit Ask Shitty Science asks the hard-hitting science questions that we’ve all been wondering about…

  1. I’ve already squirted two whole bottles of “no tears” baby shampoo into my daughter’s face. Why is she still crying?

– Savage_Llama

  1. My doctor said he’s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?

– dhy615

  1. How many calories does my girlfriend burn by jumping to conclusions?

– ThisIsSpartaChris

  1. I was told to set my clock back an hour when it showed 2AM on November 1st. I’ve done this 8 times now. When can I stop setting the clock back?

– wmb0823

  1. If we share 50% of our DNA with bananas, and 1 in 4 people descend from Genghis Khan, does that mean Genghis Khan was 200% banana?

– casvanr

  1. If I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive, would that enable cloud computing?

– lazymangaka

  1. If 1 in 5 kids faces hunger, why don’t we just turn every fifth kid around?

– Dex33u

  1. Whenever we get shot in the head, how does the bullet always manage to find the 10% of our brains that actually work?

– elpintogrande

  1. Now that gay marriage is legal in all states, should I get married in gas, liquid or solid state?

– Mellejw

  1. Does the five-second rule apply to soup? please hurry.

– Tomaytto

  1. If the camera adds 10 pounds, could the NSA’s surveillance camera system be the cause of American obesity?

– Jacicus

  1. Why do meteors always land in craters?

– abledanger

  1. I am now 22 years old and my eyesight is worsening, at what point do I get adult supervision?

– howincredible

  1. If the gas station is 2 km away, and my dad can travel at 60km/hr, why hasn’t he returned from getting cigarettes for 6 years?

– Bars555

  1. If Jesus died for our Sins then who died for our Cos and Tans?

– Extracupanails

  1. If animals don’t want to be eaten why are they made of food?

– barktwice

  1. If light travels faster than the speed of sound, how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?

– TheUndeadKid

  1. I got a vasectomy two years ago and I thought it would prevent my gf from bearing more children. But apparently it only changed the colour of the baby. How did this happen?

– Jobe1110

  1. In America, someone is shot every 15 seconds. How is that person still alive?

– justinjay700

  1. When we use ad-block software that blocks 99.99% of ads, are we not just selecting only the strongest and most resistant ads to repopulate our internets?

– CodyAve

  1. Is the ocean salty because the land doesn’t wave back?


  1. Do spiders in Europe have 2.4384 meters instead of 8 feet?

– Hansibus

  1. Why do people come back from baby changing stations with the same baby?

– Maggin1

  1. If light travels faster than the speed of sound, how come I can hear the guy in the BMW behind me honk before the light turns green?

– TheUndeadKid

  1. My girlfriend says she needs time and distance. Is she calculating velocity?

– neonwhite96


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