1. The first thing you must do when you get indoors is take off your shoes.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Republic Pictures / CBS Television Distribution

2. If you don’t do that, you risk freezing your ovaries.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Noisey / Via youtube.com

Which is apparently real and the direct consequence of walking around barefoot, according to your mum.

3. Actually, any ailment is the direct consequence of not wearing your slippers.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Cartoon Network / Via despicabletree.tumblr.com

4. You were raised believing a whole load of superstitions.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Columbia Pictures

Whistling indoors = whistling your fortune away.

5. Extracurricular after-school activities were a must.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Comedy Central / Via freyameow.tumblr.com

You either had to learn a musical instrument or a sport, or both.

6. Birthdays always entail half a dozen very long calls from relatives.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand

During which they wish you literally every single positive thing that you could wish someone, and you do the same in return, then you spend a further 10 minutes saying goodbye.

7. The rudest thing you can do is not offer a guest anything to eat.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
E! Entertainment Television

And the most civil thing to do is offer them literally all the food you have.

8. That table probably had a special tablecloth on it that your mum had saved especially for this occasion.

That table probably had a special tablecloth on it that your mum had saved especially for this occasion.

eBay / Via ebay.co.uk

9. And you spent the day preparing incredibly elaborate “salads”.

And you spent the day preparing incredibly elaborate "salads".

Creative Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

These tend to be more mayonnaise than vegetable.

10. If you’re also from Central Asia, maybe you made these at every special event.

If you're also from Central Asia, maybe you made these at every special event.

Creative Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

11. Then, when everyone is settled, come the inevitable toasts.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Vevo

They are always incredibly elaborate, with the speaker occasionally forgetting why they’re standing up holding up their glass because their anecdote took so long.

12. Then, when everyone is sufficiently drunk and full, everyone would put on ~classic Soviet hits~ and have a little dance.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand

Probably to Alla Pugacheva or Kirkorov.

13. You probably have an acoustic guitar, even if no one in your family plays.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand

14. Many of your family members and friends are “engineers”.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Tim and Eric / Abso Lutely Productions / Williams Street

Where “engineer” can refer to almost any technical profession:
Programmer? Engineer.
Construction manager? Engineer.
Designer? Engineer.

15. You probably have a good number of scientists and doctors in your family circle, too.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Disney-ABC Domestic Television

16. Every New Year’s Eve involved having the TV playing the New Year’s concert.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Channel One Russia / Via youtube.com

Featuring the same stars that have been performing for decades.

17. The best part, though, was the old Soviet cartoons.

27 Things Only Kids From Russian-Speaking Households Understand
Soyuzmultfilm

Vinni Puh > Winnie the Pooh.

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