There are certain facts about a man’s life that women simply can’t relate to. Here are 18 hilarious, and often painfully true, things that women will never understand.
1. Women will never understand what it’s like to lose all of your hoodies. Girlfriends love stealing my clothes for some reason…
2. Men are mean to their friends but they don’t really mean it. Women are nice to their friends, but they don’t really mean it either.
3. As a dad, I hate people implying that you are unfortunately stuck with your child for the day. I get the “Got stuck babysitting today?” line so often and it still bothers me. I’m not babysitting my kid – she’s mine, I’m hers, I am just being her dad.
4. My girlfriend can never understand how I can come home after hanging out with friends all night and not have a clue what any of them are getting up to at work or how their girlfriends are. She can’t seem to grasp that, as men, we can just hang out and talk rubbish for hours without going into depth about our personal lives. Example, we have heated discussions about “who would win in a fight: gorilla or tiger?” rather than finding out if my friend’s girlfriend is getting on well at her new job.
5. If we seem angry or edgy, we might just be hungry…
6. One trip for the grocery bags, or no trip at all.
7. Simply saying what state something is in, isn’t the same as asking us to do something about it. My wife will say “the trash is full” then later say, “I told you to take the trash out…”
8. The upwards head nod thing we do when we see another dude we know…
9. That adjusting my junk doesn’t mean I’m playing with myself or thinking about sex, I’m just adjusting, ok?
10. When I say I’m thinking about nothing, I’m literally thinking about nothing.
11. If I can get it in HD, it should be watched in HD. No exceptions.
12. It took me years to figure out that what my wife wanted was for me to listen to her vent about the problem, not to actually fix the problem. That still makes not a lick of sense to me. If I fix the problem, you won’t have to vent about it, now, will you. If your foot is trapped under a boulder, stop whining about it, and let me help you roll the boulder off!
13. That ‘forgiving’ does not mean putting the issue on list of things to bring up every time we get into an argument.
14. Yes, other girls are attractive. But no, we will not end a solid relationship over some girl we saw on the street.
15. As a guy, I don’t think about the specific words that are coming out of my mouth. Each of these words has its own meaning and together they make up a sentence which conveys an idea. This idea is what I am saying to you. Nothing more, nothing less. Stop trying to interpret what I am telling you to mean anything other than the actual words I am saying. I say what I mean, so maybe cut me some slack and stop reading into the stupid things I say?
16. How buying something because it’s on sale doesn’t save you any money…
17. That I can’t read women’s minds and I can’t understand your “obvious hints”. I’m sorry if I ask you 3 times during a phone call if I should come over because you feel sick and you tell me “no I will just go to sleep now, don’t want you to visit”, don’t blame me for not showing up!
18. MEN CAN LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT TOO DAMMIT!
